2 1/2 years later... Would I change Sean's diagnosis?

There is a beautifully written story from a grandma to a little girl with Down syndrome.

She writes about how magical it was to take her g-daughter to Disney and how beautifully behaved & concerned about everyone else her g-daughter was. I think that's awesome! She also goes on to say that when her g-daughter was 4 or 5 she would've taken away the Down syndrome to make her g-daughter's life easier, but now she sees that would've made everyone else's life easier.

Anywho, while I think this tribute to love and the very spirit of a child with Down syndrome is beautiful, it made me wonder whether I'd think the same way.

I would 100% take away the Down syndrome if I could. I see how people react to my son. I see the looks of surprise that he's so "normal". I also see the looks of pity when he struggles. I see the preconceived notions people have about him & then don't even give him a chance to be "normal".

You know when he's walking up the stairs at the playground and someone says "Wow! Look at him go." Yes. Look at him go. 2.5 & walking up stairs. Imagine that. (And yes I rolled my eyes) Or when he's just being silly and uses paper bags as puppets.

But Jenn.... if you take away his having Down syndrome you'd take away his personality. His quirkiness. Yes and no. My son is more than Down syndrome. If Meredith is any indication (and she must be, she's ours), he'd still be a silly kid. He'd still be a holy pain in the butt (said with the utmost of love)who unrolls any paper product he can. Hence the nickname toilet paper bandit. He'd still be a 2.5 year old little boy who is happy, rambunctious, opinionated, stubborn and the most amazing little boy I've ever met in my entire life. So his personality may be different in some ways, but my mommy gut tells me he'd still be the same Sean I know & love and still allow to live in my house anyway. ;)

He'd still take off running (as all my friends have told me their boys do) every single chance he got. You know why? Because he's faster than me and he knows it.

He'd still love his sister enough to sit at the end of the slide to catch her when she asked him to.

He'd still throw a holy fit anytime we walked out of a major child directed store without something he would die without. Ya know why? Because he's a child. He learned from his sister (as I blush for allowing it to happen) that if you throw a big enough fit and scowl enough, mommy will probably get you what you want so she can be less embarrassed.

See where he learned that from?

And if he wants to ride his bike, but I want him to walk? Yikes! Want to snuggle, but he's got other ideas? Better shield your crotch because you will get kicked. How about if he wants to play in the water & you don't want him to? Not pretty.

Also... my kids behave MUCH (read 1000%) better when they're with their g-parents. I did too. I knew I just could not get away with being bratty to my g-parents. I acted well so I'd be invited back. ;)

I'm glad that g-ma hit the behavioral jackpot. I'm glad that her g-daughter didn't embarrass her in Disney. And I know plenty of parents of children with Down syndrome that say they wouldn't change it for the world. I'm not one of those parents. My kids will undoubtedly embarrass the snot out of me in Disney. They do in Walmart. Why not Disney? My kids will behave like greedy little brats. 

I want "you" to make no mistake about it. It may be selfish. It may only make our lives easier (though I doubt it), but if I could...... I'd take away Sean's having Down syndrome. I'd take away the extra doctor's appointments. I'd take away the drs treating Down syndrome before they treat Sean. I'd take away the therapies. I'd take away the lack of coherent speech (compared to his typical peers). I'd take away his learning differently. You know why? Because those things don't give Sean his personality. They don't make him silly. They don't make him a pain in the ass (hello? he's a 2.5 year old boy).

Yes. My son is wearing a turtle as a hat.

And he allowed his mother to put a giant fuschia flower in his hair. 

Those things do make his life less convenient. Those things make it harder for HIM. For Sean. He gets frustrated when his short fingers make it difficult to play the guitar. He gets angry when his coordination or lack thereof, make it difficult to get his foot over the stupid rocking horse. He understands that he sees someone else doing it & it's easy for them. He understands what people are saying to him & gets angry that someone can't understand him when he speaks.

So.. no. I wouldn't change Sean for all the world. I love my little man. I would change him having Down syndrome though. And if that makes me a bad mom then so be it. I love my son. I accept that he has Down syndrome, but I don't have to like it.