I chose to stay at home

When I made the decision to stay at home to raise my kids, I chose to leave a very successful career that (at the time) not many folks had entered as of yet. Much less a young woman. I chose to say "to hell with my education." I'm grateful to have had a good education that I worked very hard for. I traveled. I came & went as I wanted. I did what I pleased. That part of my life taught me a lot. I'm very grateful to have been very good at what I did and was very successful, but......

I met my (now) husband and my life was put into perspective. A career and education weren't everything. In fact it meant nothing if I no longer LOVED what I did. I didn't love the work anymore. I loved the end. I loved the status is the field that I had, but..... I just didn't love what I was doing any longer.

When we got married & decided to have children, we decided that if we could afford it, I should stay home. We both believe that our kids are only this small once and one of us should be home with them, if it was possible. It wasn't an easy choice. I felt a lot of guilt when I decided to stay home. I had a lot of questions.

How would I contribute to our finances? Would I always feel like I was spending Rob's money? Would Rob think less of me? Would my kids think less of me? How would I pay for gifts for Rob when/if he deserved them? Would I feel like less of a person with no career? No income?

In the end, Rob reassured me that he believed, like me, that a mom should stay home with her kids if she wants to and is able to. He also assured me that the decision was 100% mine. Plus..... I didn't love what I was doing any longer. So after realizing money isn't what made me happy, but raising my kids would (most of the time), it was a no brainer.

I chose to stay at home. I chose to be a full time mom to my kids. And in the end, this career is harder than any other I can imagine. It's way more challenging than the exams I took to get certified. It's way more challenging than presenting your findings in front of a jury and being questioned by an attorney. I must redesign my entire life on a daily basis to accommodate everything everyone in my family needs & wants. I must constantly put my life into a balance and make sure everyone is healthy. I don't get sick days. I don't get vacations. Most days I don't even get a lunch 1/2 hour. I hardly get to meet with friends over drinks for lunch. Happy hour is one spent with no children crying and everything in its place.

Why do I bring it up? 


On Saturday as I sat waiting for story time a woman brought up to a man that hospitals were taking used law books. I mentioned that it was then tax deductible. That woman said, in a very dismissing tone, "Yeah. I'm sure he knows that. He's a lawyer." I turned my head and said nothing. I didn't make a scene. But in the end those few words really rubbed me the wrong way.

Who cares what he did for a living? I was merely pointing out something that may or may have been known by a man looking to make a donation. He could've been the Purple People Eater for all I care.

But why did she say it? I wonder if she thinks less of stay at home moms. I wonder if she feels as though a career makes the woman. Does she just think less of folks that aren't business owners or lawyers?

In the end none of it matters. I made my decision and I'm certain I made the right decision for my family. Being a business owner & leaving behind a career she worked very hard for and worked very hard to get through school for was her decision.

I just wish there wasn't such a stigma attached to being a stay at home mom. I wish more people realized that a lot of us had very different lives before children. A lot of us weren't bred simply to be wives & mothers.

I have the pleasure of spending my days trying new things. I spend my time reliving exciting things from my childhood and seeing them through fresh eyes. One pair brown and one pair blue.

Right now, as a matter of fact, Rob & I are watching Disney movies with Meredith. I am watching my daughter eat a peanut butter & jelly sandwich, holding it with freshly painted blue fingernails. Sean is taking a much deserved nap.

It doesn't get much better than this.