Simpler Times

As I drove home today from Caesar's Bay, I stopped on 86th Street and got my watches from the jeweler. Of course driving through the neighborhood I grew up in always humbles me. It always reminds me of simpler, more happy times in my life. Or at least they feel simpler & happier. I am happy now, but as I said yesterday, I feel disjointed.

Anyway, as I drove down 20th Avenue on my way home, "I wonder if I take you home" started to play on the radio.



I was suddenly transported back in time. I started to look at the store fronts and remembered them the way they were 27 years ago. I remembered Milk N Stuff and the shoe store owned by the old polish man and his wife. I remembered how big the check cashing place used to be. I remembered Willy's cleaners and the laundromat. I remember Simon and his wife who owned the candy store. I remembered how Simon would weigh pennies if you cashed them in at his store. It made me feel so peaceful to remember riding my pink bicycle with the flowers on the banana seat through the neighborhood.

And then I started to think...... My kids are not going to grow up in the same neighborhood or kind of neighborhood I did. When I was growing up the whole block knew who you were and would report everything you did to your mother. I had to be inside my house when the street lights came on unless my mother was sitting outside. When our building was brought out of the dark ages & the intercom was installed, I had to be within earshot of the intercom because that's how I was called. When I answered, she knew I was ok.

Yes yes. I know. Times are different now. The same evils were around then, but weren't as widely publicized. But.... the neighborhood was different. We knew who our neighbors were. All of the adults on the block knew each other. All the kids knew each other. No one ever said "I can't play with them because I don't know them." It was assumed that if you lived on the block, you were a friend. We didn't have to schedule play dates. We just went outside. We were neighbors. The kind that shows up on your doorstep and has a cup of coffee. Not because they were called & invited, but because they were friends.

Now my children are growing up in a time when I am paranoid at night that I didn't lock Meredith's window & it's on the fire escape. They are growing up in a time when I would rather (and am) send my Jewish children to a Lutheran private school so they can avoid metal detectors at the public schools. They won't know the same kind of sense of neighborhood like I did. And that makes me sad.

It makes me sad that I have to tell Meredith that if she's ever lost from Mommy & Daddy that she should look for a different mommy with children to ask for help. I have tried to tell her she can look for a police officer or fireman, etc, but that conversation ended in tears & her sobbing that she didn't want another mommy & daddy. She wanted me & Rob. It makes me angry, that in the wake of the horrible tragedy the happened to Leiby Kletzky, I have to tell my kid that if she's ever lost not to ask a random person for help. How do I explain that to a child who is almost 3?

Rob & I do try to create a sense of community for Meredith. We speak to most of our neighbors. Even if it's just a quick "Good Morning" while we walk the dogs. We want our neighbors to know us & know our kids. We want our kids to know there are good people in the neighborhood still. We don't want our kids to grow up fearful of the world, but they do need to be wary of the people.