Sweet Serenity

Every year around the same time I sit on the sand at the beach & just take a deep breath. It doesn't matter what's going on in my life. It doesn't matter how many phone calls I get or how many emails. It doesn't matter what kind of turmoil or excitement I have. I take a deep breath & I am instantly transported to a place where none of it matters. None of it has any bearing on what I am feeling at that exact moment.

Every year I sit in the warm sand, drink in the sun & marvel at my sweet serenity. It's not that I don't go to the beach all year long. As everyone knows, I do. But that first time of the year when the sand is warm between your toes is so delicious. There's a different feel & a different smell. One that lets me know, I am renewed. I no longer have to carry around my burdens. I can leave them at the boardwalk.

It's a love & a passion like no other. I feel somehow connected to the ocean and connected to the sun. I feel at peace there. I feel like it's where I belong.

I used to enjoy it alone. Then with Rob. Now I enjoy it with Meredith & Sean. And they, thank goodness, enjoy it with me. At first I was afraid that Sean wouldn't be much a beach person. I thought he wouldn't do well with the heat & sun. Much to my delight.... he not only does well, but LOVES it. Of course we enjoy it as a family of 4, as well, when Rob is able to join us.

With each passing step in my life, my love & passion for the beach grows. It evolves into something new. Now I get to watch as my kids grow a love & respect for the ocean, sand and sun. I get to watch as they discover what they love about those things.

 
















I get to watch as my kids play in the sand & learn about each other. I get to watch as they figure out how to relate to each other.

Sean even reached a very important milestone today. While sitting, he reached over his leg & crossed midline to get his toy. His physical therapist is going to be so proud tomorrow.  See? There is just something about the beach.

Of course he did a face plant & I was sure my mommy card was going to revoked when I plucked Sean up off the sand & his whole face was covered, but.... he was fine. Apparently it just tasted good.

We got a special treat today at the end of our beach day. There was a man with a parrot & a macaw. Meredith held the parrot like a baby & even held the macaw on her arm. Of course she refused to let him take a pic & then refused to walk away with no pic. She said "no mommy you hold it & take a pic." This is what we got.

What is your sweet serenity? What makes you leaves your cares behind? 

Being a girl

When I got pregnant with Meredith I was so hell bent on having a boy that I was a little disappointed when she turned out the be a girl. Not everyone will admit to it and I was happy to have a healthy baby no matter what. But I really thought I wanted a boy. That is until I realized all the things I was going to be able to do with her and teach her. All of the girly things we were going to be able to do together that a boy would never appreciate.

You know things like watching Cinderella together or doing new hairstyles. Trying on mommy's lip gloss when I'm getting ready to go out somewhere. Playing dress up & learning to dance like a princess. Teaching Sean how to dance like a ballerina & watching mommy dip Dutchess, the dog, during the waltz.

One of the things I never realized, until recently, that I wanted to do with my little girl was goto the salon to get a manicure & pedicure. We went last week for the 1st time together and she had a blast. I was desperate for a pedicure and we were both desperate for some girl time.

It seems I have finally figured out a way to carve out a little time that is just ours. And I have to tell you..... it feels nice. It feels nice to know there is a time when Meredith & I can just do girl stuff.

We went again tonight. Rob came home and I let him know that dinner was FFY (fend for yourself) and Sean needed a bath. I made a deal with Meredith that she could wear her princess pj's out, but they had to be pants. She couldn't go out in her nightgown. And we were off. Mani/pedi's and then ice cream.

I can't wait for next week.



 

Up, Up and Away........

As we watched the space shuttle Endeavor's launch, Meredith looked at me and said "mommy I wanna fly to space." I told her she could do anything she wanted & mommy would help her. Then of course she got up & told me she wanted to be a princess. But I sat there & watched with awe in my eyes as the space shuttle made it's way to space.

Then I sat there & thought about what Meredith had said. She wanted to fly to space. And suddenly I felt like someone had hit my right in the head. My kids CAN do anything they want to do. It's not like I didn't know that before that very moment, but for some reason the idea really struck me right then.

We had the misfortune of meeting with a developmental pediatrician last week. We went in with the expectation that she would help to guide us in the various ways we could help Sean with motor skill development, as well as give us some insight into his cognitive development. In a nutshell she told us that Sean would be a perpetual 8 year old and suggested that because Sean has down syndrome, we must have major marital problems. Now that is not to say that it isn't a possibility that Sean could potentially be a perpetual 8 year old or 5 year old. And if that's his destiny then so be it, but I didn't care for the limitation she was setting for my son & every other kid with down syndrome. Listening to her reminded me of a professor reciting from a textbook written in 1960. Upon the completion of our visit, Rob & I left feeling more frustrated than when we went in. We had gotten nothing out of our visit & paid a buttload of money out of pocket to be angry.

So I guess sitting with my kids watching them discover their world & realizing for myself that the world is wide open for them, but only if they're taught that it's open. Only if my kids are shown that the only thing that limits them are themselves. The world is a wide open for them as long as they always remain curious & ask why? I hope that I'm able to teach them that. I hope I'm able to give them the confidence to always be curious.

Wordless Wednesday - With Great Grandparents

My Mother's Day Gift

This year all I wanted were some photos celebrating the wonderful life I have. I wanted them to showcase the love my children & I share. The love that makes me more than a mother. The love that makes me a mommy.

All photos are courtesy of CCB Photography.  We were very lucky to have found Carmen. She was very sweet and kept up with my rambunctious brood. To bad they were both in a mood. :/ Thank you Carmen for capturing our family in such a great way. We picked a picture perfect day at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden. These are just a sampling of what she took for us.