Do Unto Others....

As you'd have them do unto you. Everyone has heard that right? But how many people do you know who live it? I thought I knew at least a few people that did live that way or at least tried to, but it seems I was wrong.

This hasn't turned out to be the vacation I had envisioned when Rob & I first started to talk about coming back for a few weeks. It's not even the vacation I had envisioned in the days before we came. I didn't envision taking my kids alone to see just about everything we've seen & experienced. I had hoped we'd be spending time with people that we missed and that missed us. Or at least claimed to have missed us.

I didn't envision feeling like, aside from being a valuable learning experience, the trip was a waste of a vacation. Think about it. Rob could've had his surgery in NC. I could've taken the kids to all sights & activities alone in NC just like I'm doing here. We could've come up here for a weekend to enjoy the wedding we went to and gone home so Rob could work.

I did learn one more thing..... our move to NC was 100% the best decision we could've made. I no longer miss ANY part of NYC. If I want to goto the beach, I will go south & visit our friends down there. If I want or think I need help with the kids or just a break, I'll pay for it.

But what does that have to do with "Do unto others....."? Well nothing I guess except that even though I live that way and try to be considerate of what others say, feel and may want to do.... I'm realizing (like a brick wall that suddenly comes upon you) that not everyone tries to be that way. So why am I still treating people well when they're clearly not treating me well?

I am no longer making time for people who will not make time for me. I am no longer going to keep people updated (via text or calls) that don't do the same. I'm not going to ask how you're kidneys are or how your kids are doing in school if you're not doing the same. I am no longer going to invite people to hang out, go out or do things we're doing if they continually turn our invitations down. If I'm always the one making concessions and compromising.... guess what? I'm done.

Relationships are a 2 way street. I work at all my relationships and it hurts to know that I'm the only one working. It hurts to know that when I say "Hey I'd rather do something or not do something." "Hey it kind of hurts my feelings to have you say such & such.", it's ignored.

It hurts to find that most of the above.... applies to the people I feel the closest to. Or at least that I did feel closest to until just the last couple of weeks.

What also stinks is that all of the above has trickled down to Meredith. Meredith wanted nothing more than to see & spend time with the people she loved. And in the end she asked me on numerous occasions how come her cousins left her when she went to their house & how come her ema & epa weren't coming to (insert activity here)? How do I explain that? There are only so many explanations I can come up with. It hurts me most to see her hurt.

She understands that people can & don't. She understands that people can join her at the pool or beach to jump waves & choose not to. She understands that people can walk the 30 minutes it takes to get through the aquarium or zoo (we didn't goto the big one) and choose not to. Or that they can have ice cream (which she enjoys most) and choose not to.

And she questions it and gets upset when I have to tell her that people have other things to do. That she was not a priority for them even though they won't see her for a long time after she's gone home.

It's sad for Sean too, but I don't think he quite understands it the way Meredith does. So it makes me sad for him.

So I will be doing unto others as they have & are doing unto us. And I will be teaching my children the same. I'll also be teaching them that they should only give so much before they stop. Before they save what they have to give to someone or people who deserve it.

Well back to getting us packed & ready to go home. I can't wait for Monday morning :)