Our biggest adventure yet..... Surgery

The day started off quite uneventfully. We woke Sean up at 1:45am to give him a bottle. It would be the last meal he had before surgery so we wanted to make it count. We managed to get him to take 5 oz and I was thrilled. We woke him again at 4am to attempt pedialyte, but he wasn't having any part of that.

Renee wished us well and tried to contain her tears, but it was too late. We kissed her goodbye & headed to the car. We got Sean settled into his seat & he drifted back off to dreamland. He stayed peacefully asleep the whole ride to the hospital.





When we got to the 4th floor (surgical floor), we checked in & waited to be examined. A little girl about Meredith's age came in & I lost it. I had to walk away because I couldn't imagine Meredith being sick or injured enough to need surgery. I then started to think about what Sean was about to go through.



We called Renee to see how Meredith was doing & I wanted to talk to her. I wanted her to know we hadn't just disappeared and that we loved her. Even though she didn't want to speak this time, she didn't want to give up the phone either. It was sweet & heart wrenching at the same time. But I needed to hear her voice and I hope she felt better (in the end) hearing mine. I hope it helped to let her know that we were doing what we said we were & would be home soon.

We were called in & we got Sean undressed. To say I was disappointed that he didn't get little baby scrubs is an understatement. He did get a side snap shirt with green trim. I guess I'll take it, especially since he's cute.



We met with the anesthesiologist & her fellow and then with the nurse. The nurse was a little to upbeat for my taste, but I don't have to be friends with her. I just needed her to be good and take care of my baby.

Sean had fussed himself back to sleep and I was grateful for a peacefully sleeping baby. Especially since I was an absolute mess.



Handing Sean over to the nurse was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do. My heart broke into a million tiny little pieces. Nothing could ever have prepared me for the feeling of helplessness I'd feel when I handed him over. Nothing will ever compare with the despair I felt when I walked away. I know having the surgery was a necessity for him and I'd hand him over a 1000 times to make sure he was well and could grow up.

After we met with the surgeon..... Hey! I needed to make sure he was here....... We went up to the 9th floor to be shown our picu room and be able to put our things down. My grandma met us at the hospital. We met with the charge nurse and got a tour of our new digs for the next few days.



We were informed that surgery was going well as of 9:40am. He was still hooked up to the heart lung machine. We left my cell number and went to breakfast. I really wasn't hungry at all. I just wanted some coffee. The charge nurse said that she would call if there were any new updates. As we finished up breakfast, we got a call from Sean's personal nurse, Eunice. She called to tell us that Sean was in the process of being sewn up and had done really well. She also let us know that the surgeon would be up shortly to fill us in on the details. So we headed back and waited. It seemed like an eternity to wait for Dr. Bacha, but........ in reality it was only like 30 minutes or so.

He came up and filled us in. Sean had done really well and Dr. Bacha didn't encounter any surprises. YAY!!!

When Sean was ready, we were called in to get a look at him. I was so unprepared for what he'd look like. I knew what he'd look like, but I was so unprepared. I immediately broke down. My little baby looked so sweet & innocent and yet he had all these tubes coming out of him. Why did he deserve all of this? Why did my sweet little baby deserve to be so battered?







My grandparents stayed for a little while. We got to ask a bunch of questions, but seriously....... I don't think I heard any of the answers. All I really heard was that he was ok. Despite what he looked like he was ok.

So far he has needed some blood products to help him clot and to help his blood pressure. We have gotten to touch him and comfort him. He responds to our voices by raising his heart rate a little. Which is good. a) it means he does love us and b) it means he can hear.

We have had an amazing outpouring of support for our little man. We know that Sean would not have done as well as he has without the thoughts & prayers coming his way. The amount of loving energy surrounding us from all corners of the globe is overwhelming. We even received a gift basket & mickey mouse from a wonderful woman I met through a wonderful & supportive message board. To say that it was such an amazing surprise to find out how truly supportive people are, is an understatement. Amber, Matt & Hattie..... We thank you. (Picture to come once I upload it)

So as it stands Sean is pink. He numbers are stable. His blood pressure is a little low, but not out of normal range and our nurse is amazing. She came in just to admit Sean and be his nurse on her scheduled day off. She keeps us informed about everything and doesn't sugar coat it.

We have decided that I will go home at night to be with Meredith. I'll be leaving here around 6:30pm tonight so I can make it home in time to put her to bed.

I am so torn about whether to stay here or go home. In the end Meredith needs me more than Sean for this particular adventure. Sean has the best round the clock care and his daddy to stay by his side. Meredith needs one of her parents as well. And since these days she seems to be more attached to me. So I'll go and snuggle with her. Let her know it's ok to be upset and let her know that I'm there. Hopefully she'll be able to rest easy for the night knowing mommy is close by.

Then I'll come back tomorrow morning. Meredith, Renee & Stew can come too to visit Sean. I know Sean will appreciate hearing their voices too.

Thanks to everyone for their amazing & continued support. We absolutely couldn't do it without you.