Today is moving day. And I got no sleep last night. We decided it was in our best interest to just put Meredith in our bed to sleep. We knew she'd end up there anyway, so why fight it? I really could've used just 1 hour without her touching me.
I'm so happy to be moving away from here. I don't think that I can get away from the anger, dread & anxiety I have been feeling since yesterday fast enough. Every time something new comes to light I feel a new sense of urgency to say something to D* about his inappropriate actions as property manager on the whole. For instance, I just asked Rob if he did something with the modem. He informed me that it's not here. D* has it. That means that D* came into our house without telling us because neither one of us brought it to him last week when we were here. I have an enormous problem with that. I don't have a problem with him coming in to get the modem. But why not tell us?
Why does it make me so angry? Well..... because when we decided to go away to PA I told Rob I wouldn't put it passed D* to come into our house without telling us. Rob didn't think he would. One of the qualities I love about Rob is his optimism. I also didn't put it passed D* to allow the troll or whomever else..... to come into our house. And my fears have been confirmed. Was anything touched? No I don't think so. Are we leaving? Yes. THANK GOD.
I don't know why it continues to get to me. I don't know why this whole situation continues to make me so angry. Maybe it's because I really wanted to believe that it could work. Maybe I didn't want to be so jaded about people. Unfortunately, this whole situation has only reinforced in me that you should NEVER mix business with pleasure. That my instincts about people is usually spot on and that I'm jaded for a reason. I'm not just paranoid. I'm jaded because people stink. Not everyone. Obviously I have learned how to choose my own friends wisely (love you guys), but generally..... people just stink. It's pretty sad.
Some definitions of humanity are: the act of being kind, humane, and having mercy. Having compassion and consideration for others. I'd like you to stop & think about how many people you know that truly fit those definitions. Of all the people I have met in my life, sadly there are only the people I choose to have in my life now that fit that description.
That definition is supposed to define us as humans? I say HA! It has been my experience that there are very few people who will genuinely put someone else's needs above their own. It's a special person who has the ability to do that. Very few people are genuinely considerate of others or have compassion.
I truly truly hope that I'm able to help my kids strike a balance between being kind, compassionate and having consideration for others while still maintaining themselves. I want them to know that it is ok to make sure their needs are met, but that they still have to think about how their actions will affect the people around them. It's a very delicate balance to say the least. I hope I'm able to teach them that.
Maybe my kids will be the ones to restore humanity's definition. Maybe my kids will be able to teach by example as they grow. Do I truly believe that? Unfortunately, no. I believe that people have to be open to that kind of thing in order for it to happen. Oh well.
I'm glad you moved and I would also feel violated if someone came into my home (rented or not) without telling me.
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