It's a rough week & it's only Monday

I can't imagine how much worse this week is going to get. Yesterday was Mother's Day and while it wasn't the worst Mother's Day in history, it wasn't the best either.

I did get wonderful cards from Meredith & Rob, but I was kind of disappointed to not get a card from Sean. Rob got me a card from Meredith when I was pregnant with her and it makes me wonder. Not about Rob, but about how he feels about raising Sean. I know that he will go along with whatever "I want", but I know he doesn't know if he'll be happy with any decision.

I am starting to get more comfortable with idea of having a child with down's. I've even started telling people I know that my son has down's. I'm accepting that this is our fate. I just hope that we're on the most functional level of the enormous spectrum.

Today Meredith & I went to the mechanic. My car needs some work. Unfortunately it's work we weren't prepared to pay for this month. Especially with moving at the end of this month. It seems like the hits just keep on coming & it's never ending. I often feel like I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

My grandma says "where were you when the shit hit the fan?" And you know what? I seem to be right underneath the fan each & every time someone's shit hits it. I'm getting a little tired of it.

But...... while we were at the mechanic, I fully expected a meltdown from Meredith. She was completely mesmerized with what the mechanic was doing. She watched our car go up. She watched our mechanic fiddle around checking things. She watched him make sparks while cutting the straps to our muffler. I was so happy that she didn't have a meltdown. While I watched her watching everything that went on, I also started to picture Sean and how much he'd love to watch the car being worked on. We're very lucky that our mechanic likes us.